Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
