A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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