I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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