Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
