At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
