she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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