he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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