I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
