She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
