just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
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My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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