No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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