He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
