I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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