he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
