im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
