normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
