I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
