You're my little dorito
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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