I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
