There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
