You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize