Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
