she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
