That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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