Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
