I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
