apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
