i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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