My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
