I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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