I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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