i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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