That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
