Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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