maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
