Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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