You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
