Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
