People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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