***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
