a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
