She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
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