Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
