I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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