So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
