I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
