Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
