i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
