I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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