think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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