i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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