it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
