i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
