Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
