In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
