I think i peed on brittanys purse
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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