Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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