Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He better not be in your backpack
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one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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