Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
