Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
